Introduction to Enjoying Anal Sex With Toys

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    Introduction to Enjoying Anal Sex With Toys


    Guide and Introduction to Anal Sex Toys

    Anal sex has long-suffered a taboo reputation. The connotation attached to anal intercourse varied from ‘an unnatural activity’ to ‘dirty’, and it was dismissed as ‘off-limits’ sexual toys play for many couples. Fortunately, with the introduction of more open-minded sexual education and the publication of anal as a mutually enjoyable sex toys activity, it is now becoming acceptable and appealing to a greater majority of people interested in sharing new experiences together and exploring their sexuality.

    For partners new to experiencing anal penetration and intercourse, they may still harbor feelings of guilt or unease when thinking of engaging in anal sex with toys. While the connotations mentioned above are fading slowly, they may still resonate with your partner. The first step to enjoying any new activity together is to talk openly and honestly about your feelings, and listen to your partner’s thoughts, feelings and concerns. Be sensitive to one another’s needs, desires and fears, and approaching new or formerly taboo subjects will bring you closer as you learn about each other.

    Once your partner has decided that they are interested in receiving anal sex, there are a few key points to consider before rushing to the bedroom.

    Comfort of the Receptive Partner

    The appeal of anal intercourse is two-part: the excitement of engaging in something considered taboo that is new to you both, and the tightness and sensation offered by the anus. However, one aspect of anal penetration that makes the receptive partner uneasy is often the notion of discomfort or pain. With the following steps, we will try to ease these fears as much as possible and prepare you both for a pleasurable experience.

    • The anus is often very tight, and anal penetration may feel strange or uncomfortable if you are not accustomed to it. A good place to start becoming used to this feeling is while you are aroused with your partner. Have your partner apply light pressure around and on the opening of the anus, rubbing and touching, while you are engaged in other acts. As this playing becomes a more natural part of your sexual repetoire, your partner can insert a lubed finger slowly into your anus, working up to go deeper and deeper, and working up to inserting additional fingers. You can become accustomed with the feeling of anal penetration easily this way while still enjoying other activities.
    • Once the receptive partner has become more comfortable with the feeling of anal penetration, it can be fun for you both to incorporate toys made for this purpose. There is a vast selection of anal-friendly toys: butt-plugs, dildos, beads, and even attachments for vibrators. Select a smaller toy at first, and work your way up to larger-sized toys.
    • When inserting ANYTHING (fingers or sex toys) into the anus, always use plenty of lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not generate its own natural lubrication. For this reason, it is vulnerable to tears during dry penetration, and this is extremely uncomfortable and painful for the receptive partner.
    • There are anal sex lubricants made especially for anal penetration that are longer-lasting and better suited for anal, and you may choose to try one of these as a comparison with your regular lube.
    • For hygenic purposes, it is a good idea to slip a condom over your sex toy before inserting it into the anus. Adult anal sex toys that have been inserted anally should NOT ever be inserted into the vagina afterwards without being cleaned; this will spread bacteria from the anus to the vagina and will put a receptive woman at risk for infection. If you are sharing adult toys, it is necessary to clean your toy and slip on a fresh condom before using it on your partner. Adult anal sex toys should always be cleaned before first use and after play – antibacterial soap is a must. However, depending on the material of which your sex toy is made, the cleaning instructions vary. Please see our short guide for more thorough information on how to clean your sex toys.

    Anal Intercourse

    Once your partner feels at ease with anal penetration, he or she may be more enthusiastic about having anal intercourse. Once again, listen to the receptive partner’s feelings and thoughts before rushing to act. By taking the time to show your concern for your partner’s comfort and feelings, the first time should be mutually enjoyable for you both.

    • Show your partner you care. Set the mood with a shower or bath for two, lit candles, and a sensual massage. Though you may both be excited, take your time to enjoy one another and not jump right into anal sex intercourse.
    • Spend extra time on foreplay. For the receptive partner to have an enjoyable experience, it is best to be fully aroused and ready. Think of what your partner really loves, whether it be oral sex, caressing their body, or intimate kissing, and devote your time to making them feel great.
    • Be open to giving your partner an orgasm before attempting anal. If your partner is female, she may enjoy getting off with oral sex, manual stimulation from your hand or a sex toy, or vaginal intercourse before engaging in anal. If this helps her to feel comfortable and turned on, listen to her desires and needs and put her first.
    • As always, make sure you are using enough sex lubrication. Check in with your partner as you are having foreplay and make sure he/she is comfortable. Gently massage around the anus and slip in a lubed finger, or a sex toy if your partner is game.
    • A note about position: many people choose to lie the receptive partner down on their stomach. This is probably the easiest position to try first.
    • When inserting the penis, extra lubrication is a must. Caress your partner while you are SLOWLY inserting your penis. Often, it is most difficult (and sometimes painful) when the head of the penis is inserted, and the receptive partner may tense up at this feeling. Go slow, moving your penis slightly in and out, until you feel your partner relax. When your partner gives you the go-ahead, begin slowly pushing yourself in. Stroke your partner, talk to them, tell her/him how it feels. Encourage your partner to do the same. Push your penis in, moving yourself slowly back and forth, and side to side. When your partner is comfortable, you can start gently thrusting, but be careful not to thrust too deep at first. When the receptive partner is enjoying themself, you may thrust deeper, vary your stroke, and experiment with what feels best for both of you.

    It is possible for a receptive female to have an orgasm through anal intercourse. It is often described as a full-body, intense tingling, and is a powerful experience. However, if your female partner did not orgasm through anal intercourse, be open to give her an orgasm through another means.


    As with any intimate activity, it is important to cuddle and caress your partner afterward.

    Listen to their thoughts about the experience, and share openly and honestly. It is possible your partner will not like anal sex to the extent or at the frequency that you may.

    Going forward, sharing a new intimate experience with your partner will only deepen your bond and help you each learn about your sexuality individually and together. Having a healthy attitude towards sexual relations and intimacy will drive passion within your sex life and can only add to your mutual satisfaction. You can use this openness to find variety and excitement to share within all phases of your relationship.

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