Dildos What They Are And What Factors To Consider In Choosing One?
By Lisa Lawless of HolisticWisdom.com
The question of what exactly constitutes a dildo is pretty common, as there are so many variations of sex toys and accessories these days that seem close. Dildos go back to ancient times, used by men and women for sexual pleasure. Simply put, they are objects that in some way represent the male penis and are used for penetration.
Traditional Dildos -
These are basic solid penis shaped items; and no, a hairbrush handle or cucumber is not considered a dildo. Traditional dildos can even go so far as to have balls (or "the step children" as some call them).
Dildos range in size and shape, and can be realistic or unrealistic with artistic and modern styles. They can be smooth, lovingly bumpy, ridged, multicolored, and even made out of glass. They can have suction cups or handles that allow for sexy positioning, as well as various textures that are so realistic you would not know the difference between it and a real cock if you closed your eyes. Certainly made me blush when I felt one such wonder in an adult toy store!
Traditional dildos differ from other dildos as they are solid and do not vibrate, move, dance or wiggle, they just fit well in the hand and in whatever orifice you choose to pleasure with them.
Nontraditional Dildos -
These dildos incorporate technological advances that have allowed us to create such masterpieces that rotate, vibrate, thrust, jiggle, wiggle, squirt, and simply bring out a wilder side to anyone who uses them.
Choosing Your Dildo(s) -
Sometimes it is hard to gage what is the best size. I remember ordering my first dildo online and then getting one that was supposed to be "realistic" and ended up thinking that King Kong himself would be envious when I saw how big it actually was!
May I suggest using a simple test of finger width or vegetable testing before deciding on a width or length. Using your fingers or a vegetable like a carrot or cucumber may help you decide what width and length to get. You should certainly wash anything you insert in any orifice of your body prior and then take some time to determine what will bring you the most pleasure. You can also have a partner assist in either exercise for a fun sexual adventure!
Dildos can range in length from 4 inches to more than a foot and a half or more!
Dildos can also range in width from 1" to 3" or more!
Often seamless, these are usually made from silicone, plastic, rubber or jelly. You may be wondering why would anyone want a smooth dildo when they can have a ridged or bumpy shaft. Yet, many enjoy these dildos as they are used primarily for g-spot stimulation and allow for an easy glide that other more heavily textured dildos cannot mimic.
Shape Curved G-spot and Prostate Dildos-
These dildos are a huge success with individuals and couples because they hit the sweet spots! They are perfectly angled to stimulate the g-spot or prostate and are highly effective toys for bringing orgasms quickly.
Anal Dildos -
These may be shaped to stimulate the prostate in males or simply offer various sizes and textures that provide just the right stimulation for its user. Although some are not comfortable with the idea of anal stimulation, many enjoy the sensitive nerve endings being stimulated through anal play.
Whether one chooses a thick and bumpy model or a slim, sleek one always look for one that will not easily be lost inside the rectum if inserted fully. A flared base may be a good style for anal play. In addition, don't forget the lubricant as the anus has sensitive and soft tissue that can easily be damaged.
Double-ended Dildos -
These dildos can be bent in a c-shape for double penetration on one person or shared between partners vaginally and anally. If using a double ended dildo for vagina-to-vagina, strong Kegel muscles will make it easier to maneuver.
Celebrity Molds -
If you have a favorite adult star that you would like to mimic while using a dildo on your lover or experience it yourself through solo or play with a partner than this is a great way to do that. There are many adult celebs that have had exact molds made of their genitals and dildos made from your favorite male porn star is a nice way to "feel the love."
Dildo Jealousy -
Many people hesitate to mention to their partner that they would like to purchase a dildo for fear that their partner may become jealous or insulted that they want to use one. With the issue of penis size so out of proportion as well as feeling "replaced" by a toy it is easy to understand why a partner may indeed feel jealous or upset.
Yet, the truth is that no matter how skilled we get at creating toys that provide sexual pleasure, nothing can replace the feeling of arousal and intimacy that a partner can. Whether you use a toy with your partner or without, a partner can rest assured that they can never be replaced by a piece or rubber, glass, etc...
Techniques For Dildo Use For Women -
Techniques On Pleasuring The Vagina
Many inexperienced lovers out there take the term "fucking" too literally and believe that jamming their toys into the soft folds of a woman's vagina is the way to go. Can we say "Ouch?"
The ultimate tip is to suggest that you have a woman masturbate to show you what she likes first. I have said this to customers many times... communication in any sexual experience is the key, and a visual display to show personal preference is not only arousing, but helpful!
Let's start with preparation -
~ Clean Hands & Toys -
You will want to wash hands and toys well to make sure that you do not introduce harmful bacteria into the vagina or introduce it into the urethra.
~ Avoiding A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)~
Unfortunately, there can be some negative side effects to making contact with the urethra. The urethra is sensitive and is easily irritated. It is fairly easy to expose the urethra to bacteria that is harmful when introduced and thus often results in a UTI. The activity that can cause a UTI can be sexual or non sexual.
A woman who wipes her genitals after urinating from the back (dragging harmful bacteria from the anal region to the urethra) can introduce the makings of a UTI. Any sexual activity that makes contact with the urethra whether it is from fingers, a sex toy, the mouth, the penis, etc. can result in painful urination and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation.
Taking precautions such as washing whatever is going to come into contact with the urethra beforehand may assist in preventing such an infection. If an infection occurs it is easily treated with antibiotics. If left untreated the infection can become more serious and spread into the kidneys.
If you ask most women who have had a UTI, they will tell you that it is pretty painful and something that you would go to a medical facility at 3am if you had to so that you could get some relief!
~ Shorten Finger Nails -
Trim fingernails, so as to not cause pain or tears when using a dildo as fingers often brush against the outer lips when deeply penetrating.
~ Lubricant -
Have the necessary tools, and toys such as lubricant, STD protection (if needed). Using lubricant is always welcome, as no matter how excited and wet a woman gets, that moisture is easily taken away and rubbed onto the dildo leaving her feeling a bit tender.
~ Atmosphere -
Creating a relaxing atmosphere can also include doing some sensual foreplay. Get into the mood doing such activities as: massage, using sweet or spiced body lotions or oils, soft kissing, a bubble bath, and many other creative ventures.
Finger tips or the tip of a dildo that teases and plays with the clitoris in the beginning of a sexy session will create a nice introduction to getting a woman ready for penetration and clitoral stimulation.
The Clitoral Orgasm
This orgasm occurs at the peak of clitoral stimulation. It begins with an intense sexual excitement within the clit and then as the orgasm peaks it surges waves of pleasure throughout the body. Only several years ago did Masters & Johnson break the myth that this was the only kind of orgasm that women could have, when they showed proof of the g-spot orgasm.
The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body and sexual arousal is always felt in the clitoris no matter where the orgasm takes place. It is usually that the sexual arousal first originates in the clit, and is considered an orgasmic starting point.
~ What Is The Clitoris And Where Is It?
It is located below the mons veneris on the anterior portion of the vulva. The inner vaginal lips, also called the labia minora when closed, tend to hide the clit, but it is interesting to note that those inner vaginal lips are attached to the underside of the clitoris and thus play an important role in the network of nerves, which transmit sexual stimulation.
The clitoral hood is formed by the connection of the inner vaginal lips. This small hood covers the clitoris in much the same manner as a foreskin covers a penis. When you pull the hood back you can see that the clit is USUALLY about the size of a pencil eraser, however the size does vary from woman to woman, much the same way penis size varies from man to man.
The clitoris is abundantly supplied with nerves. The part of the clitoris that you see is actually much like the head of a man's penis, and as a man has a shaft to his penis, a woman has a shaft to her clitoris. The shaft is located above the hood, and is more easily felt when a woman is aroused as it become more rigid as it fills with blood.
~ What Does It Feel Like?
Clitoral orgasms can be very intense, but may not be as "deep" as others. These orgasms are no doubt very, very pleasureful and helpful in achieving female ejaculation. Stimulating the clitoris can be a very good place to start when trying to achieve female ejaculation, after providing stimulation to the g-spot.
A Reminder- Remember that after an orgasm the clit can retract, and becomes highly sensitive to any further stimulation, often to the point of being painful.
~ Stimulating The Clitoris~
A woman's lover will want to respect that the clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Rough rubbing directly on it is not usually the ideal. Another area that if often misunderstood is that most women want to have constant, repetitive motion to one or both sides of her clit. Many women have a favorite side, so it is always good to ask which side your baby likes, or if you are the receiver of such divine fun, to tell your lover. Communication is always key during GOOD sex.
Variation of speed and moving all around the clit is not generally preferred. Most women need a constant, repetitive, stimulation with little to no variation just as a vibrator would offer. That is one reason why women love those beautiful toys so much!
Pulling back the hood -
This is going to depend on a woman's clitoral sensitivity and how aroused she is. The more aroused a woman is, the more she may want or not want her clitoris directly stimulated.
For those woman who are particularly sensitive, pulling back the hood and receiving direct clitoral stimulation is not going to be a pleasureful experience.
If a woman likes her hood pulled back, the best way to do so is by spreading her lips apart, or pulling up on the mons.
Range Of Motion -
When women masturbate, they often rotate around their clit in a circular motion, while other women prefer a side-to-side or up and down motion. Another technique is rolling the clitoris with the thumb and pointer finger or tip of a dildo. This should be done gently.
The G-Spot Orgasm
This orgasm may begin at the g-spot and stay focused there throughout the building and final release of the orgasm, or may expand throughout the body. This orgasm is demonstrated when the g-spot is stimulated and becomes "puffy" and swollen as the tissue surrounding the female Paraurethral/Skenes glands fill with blood during sexual arousal. This results in the tissue becoming firm to the touch.
~ What Does It Feel Like?
Like the vaginal orgasm, this usually takes longer to build. Because the g-spot is not stimulated as much by friction as much as pressure, using a rhythmic pushing against the g-spot is more pleasureful than light rubbing.
Most women describe this type of orgasm as an intense, deeply sensual pressure that builds until it feels like the entire vaginal explodes with ecstasy and is usually followed by euphoric energy that spreads throughout entire body. This orgasm, like the vaginal orgasm can release an emotional response as it provides women with a sense of being penetrated more than just physically, but also in a more emotionally vulnerable sense.
The Double Pleasure Technique -
G-spot, clitoral dildo play~ Stimulate the clit using a vibrator like the Rabbit Pearl or the Jack Rabbit Vibrator, while using a penis shaped shaft to stimulate the g-spot.
The most effective stimulation is using rhythmic thrusting. These rhythmic movements create vibrations, which induce pleasure in the cervix and uterus as well as in the G-spot and vagina. When fingers are introduced into the vaginal opening, the initial pleasure is primarily from the feeling of distention or fullness.
Using a larger dildo may increase pleasure felt in some women as it stimulates the vaginal walls which may also stimulate the G-spot as pressure increases and the vagina is filled.
This sexual stimulation is due to the highly sensitive and many nerve endings in the g-spot. While discomfort may initially be felt, these sensations may gradually fade. Dildos that curve upward place pressure on the g-spot and this can be very stimulating. While width is a positive pleasure inducer, it is not as important as where the dildo is stimulating a woman in her vagina.
Because all women are different, and some have different preferences for stimulation, you may find that while some women prefer hard thrusting, others prefer softer, strokes. As in all sexual techniques, the best is good communication.
Benefits of Dildos For Men-
The Prostate & Male Ejaculation
Through Prostate Stimulation You Can Increase Your Ejaculation To Amazing Proportions While Enhancing Pleasure!
There's more to the male genitalia than the head and shaft of the penis... if you press your fingers against your perineum (area between your testicles and anus) you can feel this root, or bulb of your penis. The root of the penis is sensitive and can be stimulated through the perineum or the rectum and is just one reason that anal penetration feels pleasurable to many men. Now I know there is a lot of homophobia that goes on for men around the talk of anal play... so let me just address that before I go any further.
We of course respect anyone's sexual preference when it comes to being heterosexual or homosexual. We see beauty in both and we support either preference. For those men who are heterosexual and fear that anal play may lead to homosexual feelings or that someone will think they are... think again.
Some people think the anus is dirty. But there is nothing dirty about the body, which must be cared for. The only thing that might be considered dirty is disease; and these practices are intended to prevent and cure disease through regular care for the entire body, including the anus and prostate.
Many men are troubled by these massages because they think there is something "homosexual" about it, especially if it is pleasurable. They might feel differently if they knew the extent to which neglect ultimately results in prostate dysfunction, malfunction, and disease. Inserting anything into the anus never turned anyone into a homosexual.
Many straight men enjoy prostate massage with their female partners and don't miss out on the health benefits or intense pleasure that it brings because they are confident in their masculinity and are able to work through any fear that they have regarding it. If you are worried about the homosexual piece of this, then I suggest that you talk about these feelings with a trusted friend, partner or professional to try and work through your fears because you will be missing out on a wonderful sexual release if you let your fears keep you from trying it.
Okay... back to the joys & benefits of prostate massage...
Traditionally, doctors would massage their patients' prostates regularly to cure or prevent disease. Now, however, most doctors only check the prostate, and if they find a problem prefer to cut it out or prescribe medication. But a doctor is not necessarily required for prostate massage.
You can do it yourself or have your partner do it for you. Try this practice and discover its health benefits. When you do it yourself, you can be very gentle and make the treatment pleasurable as well as efficacious.
The prostate is analogous to the G spot in women which is shown to the left. The prostate can be massaged by inserting a finger (toy, dildo etc.) a minimum of three inches into your anus and stroking toward the front of your body through the walls of your rectum.
The technique of prostate massage actually involves two (three) organs of the male reproductive system: the prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the ampulla, which is the reservoir which actually holds the male sperm just prior to ejaculation.
The prostate gland when engorged can be felt by pressing a finger into the middle of the perineum (in back of the scrotum). It is a rounded lump about the size of a large marble. It can also be accessed via the rectum, where it can again be felt as a rounded lump toward the front of the body and just about an index finger's length inside the rectum.
A better way to find it from the rectum is to insert the middle finger, and slide it from just inside the rectum (on the front side) up and in until you feel it move over a lump. That will be the prostate.
Just in back of (up from) the prostate is a smaller and roughly triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of the somewhat larger seminal vesicles, which is where most of the fluid of the ejaculate is produced and accumulated. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampulla.
During sexual arousal, sperm and ejaculatory fluid accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.
You can massage your prostate by simply inserting your finger or toy into the anus and reaching back and up towards the navel until you feel the prostate gland. Use natural-content personal lubricant of the type specific to this purpose to facilitate insertion of a finger or toy, and gently rub back and forth on the prostate using as much pressure as you can without causing pain.
This massage can be made even more pleasurable if your partner is willing to do the massage for you. You need not concern yourself about bacterial transmission if the hands are clean. Use of any toy using the instruction above will do the trick.
Sexual intensity is enhanced by massaging the penis at the same time! Some men have passed out from the sheer pleasure so be prepared for an amazing sexual experience!
Medical Bonus -
It is important that men examine themselves often by checking the condition of their prostates. You can determine the condition of the prostate by feeling for changes in size and resilience.
Check this as often as possible, at least every few months, and you will be able to establish a standard for yourself. By doing so, you will be able to detect any changes in the size and flexibility of your prostate. A very hard, enlarged, or painful prostate is an indication of a disorder that could lead to cancer or some other major problem.
Prostate disorders do not develop overnight, and regular massage can prevent and reverse problems. Medical science accepts that it is normal for men over the age of fifty to experience problems with their prostates. Although prostate problems may be common, they are not normal. They are abnormal. There is no need for any man to have prostate problems.